So my blogs taken a turn from marriage, rainbows and sunshine’s hasn’t it- ha! The last time I dated I was 17/18 ish and things have changed in 6 odd years especially when you’re responsible for 2 tiny humans! I feel it’s important to add as a disclaimer because I know I have some sniddy people reading that not all of these factors apply to me.
1) We won’t reply very quickly. It’s not that we aren’t keen it’s because although we might look a 10/10 on social media it’s hard too when we are putting on Paw Patrol, opening a bag of crisps and wiping snot off the floor (all at the same time) and that prioritises reply to your text telling us we look fit.
2) Don’t blow us off at the last minute. We get that something might of come up but long are the days of us chucking a cute outfit on and shaving our legs before running out the door to meet you for a drink. We’ve probably spent an age picking an outfit that disguises our mum tums and spent half hour on the phone begging our mums to watch the kids for us.
3) You won’t be our priority. Sorry and all if you made us a fancy dinner but if I have to bail because my child needs me then that’s what it is.
4) Don’t say “I don’t want to be a step dad/mum”. Good. We don’t want that. This has been said too soooo many times to friends of mine. Majority of the time if we are a single parent then it’s because we’ve got a nightmare baby daddy already and don’t need another dad figure for them. Don’t flatter yourself hunny. Be their friend or a male figure but they’ve got a dad. Even if they don’t, we don’t want it.
5) We don’t care if you don’t wanna date us because we have kids. Quite honestly you took the trash out for us. If you aren’t old and mature enough to date someone that’s had a child you aren’t ready to date someone at all and you should take your arse and park down Tesco’s car park for the fiat 500 17 year olds.
6) Some of us just want someone to shag on the weekends. I had to be the one to say it sorry but some us have a good life/situation and are too busy or not in the right headspace for commitment. We have needs and want some fun on the weekends to let loose after a week of parenting and normal life.
7) Some of us want to be wined and dined, to feel loved. We want to be cuddled and given some air of romance. If you’ve wiped shit out the carpet and been woken up at the crack of dawn to a demand of biscuits and milk in front of Ben and Hollys little kingdom you’d want adult conversation and big snuggle too.
8) Our bodies are different. If you’ve given birth your body is different, our vaginas don’t look the same and lord we know it so don’t remind us. And no before you ask us our nipples didn’t always look like that’s but once you have a child feed off them until the bleed they just don’t look the same.
9) Personally I don’t like being called a MILF. I can’t speak for everyone but it makes me cringe. Call me beautiful, say I’m hot but Christ I will barf in my mouth if you call me a MILF.
10) We like “grown up food”. If we’ve cooked fish fingers and nuggets for the kids Monday to Friday and you’re cooking for us on Saturday night it better be a banger because we’ve lived off their left overs during the week.
11) We don’t all have “crazy baby daddies”. Mines actually bearable and you would probably be able to have an alright (all be it) semi awkward conversation about the football at the door during pick up.
12) You’ll be our dirty secret. Fat chance of meeting the kid’s until we are 100% sure or you’ll be “mummy’s friend” for at least 6 months. But it does mean you can have sneaky kisses in the hallway whilst the kids are playing play doh in front of peppa pig.
13) We are independent. I’m sorry but we run a house, work, pay bills etc. You might wanna sweep us off our feet and be a knight in shining armour but we are the queens and we rule alone.
14) We aren’t desperate or insecure. Just because we are mums we know our self worth and we aren’t going to lower our standards. Equally I speak for myself when I say that yes I might need some reassurance because my last relationship ended badly but I know that the next person can’t be tarnished with the same brushes.
15) Lastly, just because we are a parent doesn’t mean we don’t like to have a life. I’m not just Mummy I’m also Sophie the friend, Sophie the aunt, Sophie the sister and Sophie the gal that likes to drink lots of gin and yell “WILL GRIGGS ON FIRE” in the club with my best friends.
Date kindly and be gentle with us xoxo
The Verrill Gang 